Coping as a single parent

Provided by Seven Counties Services, Inc.

Raising children in the 21st century is a difficult task that proves to be even more challenging in a single parent household. Single parents must recognize they can raise successful and resilient children without the help of a second parent.

Focus on the positive. Be thankful that you have the opportunity to raise your children in a household void of parental conflict and tension.

Hold family meetings. Let your children voice their opinions by having informal gatherings where you allow your children to speak openly about their feelings. By listening to your children's needs, you better are able to meet them.

Don't overcompensate. Some parents believe that because they are the only parent, they must fill the void of the missing parent by financially compensating their children or doing all the household chores. Set limits and discipline your children to let them know that the family only can work when everyone does their fair share.

Don't be overwhelmed by the demands of single parenting; don't be afraid to ask for help. Raising children alone is a scary and stressful job, and it's okay to seek help from friends and family members to ease some of the pressure. You can ask them to baby-sit your children or accompany you on family outings to help out with the children. Also, if you and your children are struggling with a one-parent household, schedule family counseling appointments to help resolve family conflict and discover ways to handle family pressures. Children may have fears about the present or future that need to be addressed before a serious problem arises.

Delegate the work. Give the children more responsibilities by including them in household chores, if old enough. Have your children wash dishes, clean general areas, and fold clothes so you can spend your time elsewhere.

Find a confidant, other than your children. A common, unintentional mistake parents make is treating their children as peers, without realizing the impact of these actions. No matter how mature your children seem to be, allow your children to remain children by seeking emotional support from friends and family. Another alternative to friends and family is a single parent support group like Parents Without Partners, an international support group for divorced, never-married, separated, and widowed single parents.

Most importantly, take time out for yourself. No matter how busy you get and how much remains on your plate, you should devote some time for yourself to do what you love to do. Take a relaxing bath, read a book, or take a nap to relieve some stress. You can only serve others once you've taken care of yourself.