Managing Holiday Stress

Provided by Seven Counties Services, Inc.

Do you find yourself dreading the holidays? Have the holidays become the most stressful time of year in your family, with all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, socializing, gathering with family, gift wrapping, and decorating?

Many parents seek to provide perfection during the holidays, trying to turn "Twas the Night Before Christmas" into reality for their children and other family members. Parents frustrate themselves trying to find the "perfect" gift; they're short-tempered with their children who they expect to behave; and they wear out themselves trying to prepare elaborate decorations, parties and meals.

This year, vow to manage your family holiday stress with the following tips, remembering that reality is rarely as perfect as fiction.

--Make plans for you and your family to relax this year. Put things into perspective. Remember the holidays are just several of the 365 days in a year, and that a problem doesn't mean disaster.

--Recall past holidays and determine what truly was important. However, don't try to recapture your childhood. Create new memories for your children.

--Plan ahead. Rely on lists. Purchase through catalogs or online to save time, avoid shopping, and either avoid having to take the kids shopping with you or getting a babysitter.

--Delegate. Ask for help. You are not responsible for doing everything, and everyone's happiness does not depend on you. Divide the job list and let the children help with age-appropriate tasks. Sharing in work as well as fun is part of being a family member. Often children are able and willing to do much more than parents sometimes think.

--Remind yourself and your family to enjoy each holiday activity for itself, instead of always thinking about what is ahead.

--Explain to children that everyone gets one item on his or her wish list, and then fill in with surprises. Museums, craft shows, and book stores can be good resources for unusual gifts. When you hit your budget limit, stop shopping. Remember birthdays and other holidays are good opportunities for gifts. You don't have to give everything on just one day.

--Draw names in the family and set dollar limits.

--Allow your children to help develop your own family traditions. Pick one or two traditions, such as making Christmas cookies together or attending worship services on Christmas Eve, and make them special instead of trying to do everything. With family input, cut back on expectations also by giving up one tradition this year. For example, maybe everyone would be just as happy with donuts and milk on Christmas morning instead of your traditional elaborate brunch.

--don't fake it. If you and other family members are separated from loved ones during the holidays, don't ignore your feelings. Allow your children to express theirs.

--Limit family gatherings to short time periods.

--And as a parent or caregiver, buy yourself a present this year to enjoy through the year. You deserve it.

There are many joys to share during the holidays. You can make the holidays less hectic and disappointing by keeping a realistic perspective. Take each day as it comes and don't expect too much of yourself and others.