Surviving the family vacation

Provided by Seven Counties Services, Inc., the region's community mental health center

Ah, the family vacation. There's time with immediate and maybe extended family or friends who you haven't seen in awhile. A break in the day-to-day family routine. Lots of "down" or relaxation time. Travel. Chances for favorite and new activities.

So what's not to like about a family vacation? It could be all of the above and then some!
There are family members of all ages wanting to do different activities. There's the stress of the family car trip or today's air travel. With no routine, there can be the marathon of trying to squeeze in everything everyone wanted to do in seven days. There even may be family tension or stress at having to stay at Grandma Annie's for five days. Family vacations may leave some family members saying on the last day, "Whew! I need a vacation!"

Family vacations should be and can be fun. Here are a few tips so family vacations aren't a disappointment:

--plan ahead, and allow everyone to get in on the planning. Talk with your children about what they like to do or where they might like to go. Show them maps and pictures of places to go. Make a calendar and check off days until the vacation arrives.

--plan a variety of activities that will interest all family members at some point or another. Dad may want to visit a historic battlefield on the way, Mom may want to stop at an art museum, and the kids might want some time at an amusement park. Everyone should get to do something they like during the vacation. Since a vacation is a change in routine that can produce stress in itself, plan activities with more structure early in a vacation when everyone might be suffering a bit of withdrawal from the 9-5 routine, and activities with less structure later when bodies have slowed down to meet psyches.

--be flexible, show your family you are flexible, and teach your children to be flexible. The unexpected happens and you should expect it. Engine trouble delaying your arrival time? Once back on the road, simply decide to take your time, maybe staying the night at a motel or hotel on the way. Let the kids take a dip in the motel pool. Order room service. Look for ways to make the misadventure fun.

--be reasonable. You don't have to spend every waking moment with your family, nor they with you. Maybe Dad can take the kids to the museum while Mom goes shopping. Or maybe an older teen can take his or her siblings to the beach, while Mom and Dad sightsee one morning.

--enjoy your vacation. Don't pressure yourself or family members to have a good time. If you or other family members want to loaf, don't feel guilty or make them feel guilty about it. It's a vacation, after all.

--budget wisely. Vacations always seem to cost more than planned so be conscious of where money is going. Give children a daily allowance for the vacation, and let them manage it. But remember to tell them, once they have spent it, no more until tomorrow. Any additional money comes from their own savings.

--be smart. Plan on arriving home a day early to get everything ready for a return to normalcy. You'll be able to get a head start on catching up on the mail and laundry, and, hopefully, you won't return to your routine already stressed out over day-to-day chores.